


Homeward Bound

by StarkRogers135



Series: Angel!Dean Winchester series [46]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angel Blade, Angel Dean Winchester, Angel Sex, Angelcest, Angelic Grace, BAMF Gabriel, Big Brother Dean, Big Brother Gabriel, Character Death, Death, Deathfic, Demons, Drunk Sam, Heaven, Heaven's Civil War, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Lucifer | Nick, M/M, Possessive Lucifer, Protective Gabriel, Protective Lucifer, Warrior Angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:29:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarkRogers135/pseuds/StarkRogers135
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets killed and Sam doesn't take it well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homeward Bound

**Author's Note:**

> AngelWinchester here: Whoa! This is a long chapter! We thought we were going to end it, but we've decided not to. We had all of this written out when we decided not to stop. So...Enjoy this VERY long chapter!!
> 
> THIS IS A STORY. THEY ARE NOT INDIVIDUAL STORIES. IT IS ALL ONE STORY!  
> START AT "Die Trying" AND WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH IT.  
> They are suppose to be chapters, but they were put into a Series form, sorry for not telling you guys.  
> Well, Have fun!

After a month, Dean still wasn't over Cas's death. Lately, Sam's been on the phone with a few funeral homes, trying to schedule a day for them to have a service for Cas. Dean still wouldn't talk about it or let someone else talk about it in front of him. Dean was still very sensitive to it. He was debating whether to go to Cas's funeral or not. He didn't know how he'd react to it. Maybe he wouldn't talk to anyone but Cas's dead body, but then people would think he was crazy. Dean was sat in the middle of his and Cas's bed, the half-angel sitting on Cas's side of the bed and cradling a bottle of whiskey in his arms, along with Cas's trench coat.

Every night so far, Lucifer would have to stop Gabriel from doing anything stupid. A couple weeks ago, he had to stop Gabriel from picking a fight with someone.

Sam finally got a place in the cemetery where Jessica and Mary are buried. He sighed and knocked on the Dean's bedroom door, "Dean."

Dean looked up at the locked door with ever so slightly buzzed, blood shot eyes. "'uh?" he grunted. As an angel, Dean was able to get drunk, but only if he's had about ten bottles of liquor or beer. Dean's had about six.

Sam tried to open the door then sighed and quickly picked the lock. He walked in slowly and looked at Dean, closing the door. "Hey."

Dean held the bottle tighter to his chest. "'s gone b'cause of me..." Dean whined. "I should be dead. Not Cas."

Sam walked over and pulled the bottle from Dean's grasp and took Dean's face in his hands, "Not your fault, Dean. None of it is."

Dean whimpered when the liquor was taken from him, trying to grab it. "Made 'im leave," Dean said. "Started a fight that nev'r shoulda started."

Sam threw the bottle to the other side of the room and sighed, "Dean, listen to me. He _started_ it. Okay?"

Dean winced at the loud shattering sound of the whiskey. "I-I coulda stopped it," Dean whined. "I didn't, though. If I had stopped, he'd still be here and still have his fucking Grace!" Dean cursed, though it was the alcohol talking. "I'm a fucking terrible person!"

"No, you're not! Listen to me! You're one of the best people I have ever known. So, don't say that shit!" Sam snapped.

Dean shook his head hard, screwing his eyes shut. Dean was so confused without Cas with him. Dean was used to Cas comforting him all the time. Now it was Sam and Dean was trying to adjust, but it was obvious that he was struggling with that.

Sam frowned, "Dean, I don't wamt to fight with you. I came in to tell you that I got a place for Cas next Jess and Mom."

"I know y'did." Dean said, his voice trembling audibly. Dean would go see Cas everyday at the cemetery and he'd try to go up into Heaven to Gabriel to see his mate again. Hell, Dean would like to sleep _next to_ Cas's grave if he could!

Sam nodded then leaned up and pulled Dean into a hug.

Dean hated how he felt stupidly weak and helpless. He hated it. Dean cried into Sam's arms, tears streaming down his face.

"Shh..." Sam rubbed Dean's back and held him close.

"M-My fault." Dean cried, hiccuping on his cries.

"Stop saying that!" Sam pulled back and looked at Dean, "Just stop it."

Dean coughed, shaking. "It is, though!"

"No! It's not! None of this is your fault, Dean! Cas wouldn't want you to be blaming yourself like this. Now stop it." Sam narrowed his eyes.

Dean shut his eyes tight, trying to calm down as he pressed his face into Cas's coat.

"Okay?" Sam put his hands on Dean's shoulders.

Dean nodded shakily. "S-Sorry..." he said weakly and quietly.

"Thank you." Sam sighed.

Dean nodded shakily again, roughly rubbing his eyes.

Sam smiled a bit and stood, "Hey. Come here. I wanted to give you something." He walked to the door.

Dean looked up and staggered to his feet after composing himself, following Sam while clutching the coat.

Sam walked into the other room and looked through the bag, "Ah-hah! There it is." He pulled out a picture frame then handed it to Dean. "I took this of you and Cas while you guys were asleep in the back seat of the Impala. I thought you might like it."

Dean swallowed thickly and took the picture, looking at it. "Thanks." Dean said shakily, glancing up at his tall brother before back to the picture.

Sam smiled and patted Dean on the shoulder.

"Really. Thanks," Dean mumbled. "Um...anyways. About the-the funeral thing? You found a place?"

"Yeah. In the same cemetery with Mom and Jess." Sam smiled. "Just like you wanted."

Dean nodded slightly. "Yeah..." Dean said quietly, his eyes narrowed again.

Sam smiled a bit then ruffled Dean's hair.

Lucifer sighed in tiredness from holding Gabriel down from another outburst, "Brother, please. It's been a month." He looked down at the Trickster pinned below him.

This time, Dean didn't even try to swat Sam's obnoxious hand away. "I'm gonna go lay down." Dean said and went back into the bedroom.

"I don't care!" Gabriel snapped, struggling in Lucifer's hold. "You brought me back so you can bring him back, too!"

"Okay." Sam frowned a bit.

Lucifer held him down and whimpered a bit, "It almost killed me when I brought you back."

Dean went back into the bedroom and shut the door, laying down on the bed while gazing at the picture of him and Cas.

Gabriel fought and struggled in Lucifer's holding, wearing himself out as he cried in frustration.

Lucifer looked down at his younger brother and frowned, "Gabriel, please. Calm down."

"I want Cas back, dammit!" Gabriel yelled, hiccuping on his cries, his struggles getting weaker.

"We all do, but it's not going to happen. I can't bring him back even if I wanted to. He would blame himself if I get hurt or worse." Lucifer loosened his grip on his brother a bit.

Gabriel pulled his wrists free from Lucifer's hold and brought his own hands to his eyes roughly, his eyes screwed shut.

"I am sorry, Gabriel." Lucifer sighed. "Just please...Stop this."

Gabriel didn't speak. He just kept quiet, despite the little hitches in his breath.

Lucifer say up and sighed, looking at his brother, "You always were a handful...still are."

"Sh-Shut up..." Gabriel grunted, rubbing his eyes roughly.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes then stood, pulling Gabriel with him, who wasn't even trying to stand, "Gabriel..." He sighed and guided the limp, not even trying angel to the bad and lay him down, "Now, sleep. You need it." Lucifer pushed Gabriel's feet onto the bed.

Gabriel closed his eyes tightly, hugging a pillow close to his chest. He didn't _need_ to sleep. Lucifer just _wanted_ him to.

Lucifer sat on the edge of the bed and sighed, watching his younger brother, "He told me a story...when we were talking."

Gabriel slightly looked up. "Yeah?" he mumbled shakily, looking at Lucifer. "About what?"

"About the time when he was young and you tried to teach him to fly." Lucifer smiled.

Gabriel breathed a tiny laugh. "Yeah, that didn't go very well." he murmured.

"He talked about how you threw him into a tree and then got him stuck in a cloud." Lucifer looked at Gabriel.

"I remember that," Gabriel murmured. "Cassie wasn't too happy after that." he chuckled.

Lucifer smiled and shook his head, "No, he wasn't. Michael got him from the tree and I got him from the cloud. Dad was pissed."

"I remember..." Gabriel murmured quietly with a nod. "I just...I miss him already," Gabriel said. "He was too young. Youngest in the Garrison."

"I know, Gabriel." Lucifer sighed and laid down next to his younger brother.

Gabriel sighed weakly and tiredly before cuddling closer to Lucifer for security.

Lucifer looked down at Gabriel and frowned, pulling his brother closer.

After a few weeks, Dean still wouldn't talk about Cas and he would hardly come out of his bedroom, always sitting or laying on Cas's side. It was one day where Dean was laying on the bed, the day of the funeral service, when Sam walked into the bedroom, already dressed in his suit while Dean wasn't.

Sam sighed and walked over to his brother, "Dean, you need to get dressed." He picked up the suit.

Dean swallowed hard, his eyes narrowed. "I dunno if I should go..." he said quietly. Dean was waiting for that Cas-would-want-you-to-go speech.

"Dean, you need to go." Sam frowned. " _I_ want you to go." He paused for a moment before speaking again, "Please?" Sam turned his sad puppy eyes on.

Dean didn't care that Sam wanted him to go. Dean cared about what Cas wanted. "Fine..." Dean muttered, his voice gruff.

Sam smiled a bit and held the suit out to Dean, "Put this on."

Dean grabbed the stupid suit and went into the bathroom, bringing Cas's coat with him.

Sam sighed and frowned, waiting. He looked up as Dean came out, "You ready for this?"

"Not really, no." Dean mumbled, walking out to the Impala anyways and sitting in the passengers seat, passing Lucifer and Gabriel in the process, the two angels already dressed up.

Sam looked at the two angels and shook his head a bit with a frowned, making his way into the driver's seat.

Lucifer sighed and appeared in the back seat, followed by Gabriel.

Dean was silent the entire way, even using Cas's coat as a pillow. It made his heart hurt when he couldn't smell Cas on it anymore. He already told Sam that he wouldn't be going over to the cemetery. Sam would park close just because Dean told him to.

Sam nodded for Gabriel and Lucifer to go, which they did. He looked at Dean, "Are you sure you don't wanna walk with me?"

"'m gonna stay here," Dean said quietly, resting his head back on the coat. "'m fine here."

"Alright. Just know that if you want to walk over, you can at any time." Sam smiled slightly then got out of the car and left.

"Dammit, Cas, I'm sorry..." Dean whispered weakly. "I just want you back home with me, alright? Is that too much to ask?"

Cas's image flickered a bit next to Dean until he was completely visible, "Hello, Dean."

Dean opened his teary eyes and looked next to him, seeing Cas as clear as day through his tears. "Cas..." Dean rasped shakily.

Cas smiled slightly and nodded, "You shouldn't be upset or sad, Dean. Everything is okay."

"Y-You're dead, though," Dean said. "Of course I'd be upset. I want you back, Cas, and Lucifer won't do it, even though he did it with Gabriel and it's not fair!" Dean wanted to cry again when he felt Cas's arms around him.

"He cannot bring me back because it almost killed him to bring Gabriel back. I do not want my brother to die, even if I want to come back." Cas sighed. "But I am happy."

Dean looked up, tears falling down his face. "Why are you happy?" Dean whined. "Nobody else is happy that you're dead..."

"Because I'm not hurting anymore. I am at peace." Cas wiped away Dean's tears.

"I could've made you stop hurting if you had let me..." Dean said weakly, pressing his face into Cas's shoulder.

"I didn't want you to." Cas said dryly.

"Stubborn..." Dean muttered quietly, his eye shut tightly. He just wanted to cry and let it all out. He could wait until tonight. When everyone but Dean was asleep. He wanted Cas to be there and to hold him and to tell him everything would be ok, even though he knew everything wouldn't.

"I still love you, Dean. I always will." Cas smiled and kissed Dean on his forehead. "You may keep my coat, if you want."

Dean nodded weakly. "Wasn't planning on giving it up." Dean muttered quietly, nuzzling into Cas's warmth. Cas felt so damn real. Dean just wanted Cas to stay forever and never leave until the day Dean died.

"I do not want you to do anything stupid and get yourself killed or hurt." Cas narrowed his eyes.

Dean was quiet at that, his eyes down. Dean swallowed when he felt Cas hook a finger under his chin, Dean's head getting lifted.

"Do you hear me? Don't you _dare_." Cas looked into sad green eyes, "Promise me."

"You can always stop me if I try..." Dean said quietly. "Or Sam can..."

"Don't you even _try_ , goddammit!" Cas raised his voice a bit. "I'm not going to baby you, Dean. I never have and I never will. You take care of your brother. Don't you dare leave him." He frowned.

Dean winced when Cas raised his voice. He didn't even make a move to pull away, though he was about to, when he felt Cas pull him closer. "I'm sorry," Dean whined, tears falling again. "I just...I d-don't know what to do anymore..."

"You do what you have been doing. Before we were mates. Before you were an angel. Everything." Cas leaned his forehead against Dean's.

"I just want you back," Dean whimpered. "So does Sam and Gabriel and Lucifer." Dean started to tremble again, biting his lower lip to prevent himself from crying again.

Cas kissed Dean on the nose gently, "I know. I know you all do, but that isn't going to happen. I don't want to come back." He sighed lightly.

"Why don't you want to come back? We-We could fix everything," Dean was starting to ramble desperately now. "No more fights. No more yelling. No-" Dean was stopped short by Cas cutting him off gently.

"Because...I want you to live. I can't keep putting you in danger. I have too many outbursts." Cas said softly.

"We can fix those things, though, Cas," Dean said desperately. "We don't have to fight anymore or anything."

"Dean, no. Stop, please. You don't get it. Nothing needs to be fixed." Cas shook his head. "You _need_ to let me go." He felt a tear trail down his cheek.

"I can't let go," Dean shook his head hard. "I can't! D-Don't make me!" Dean felt Cas's hand cradle the back of his head as he cried, Dean hearing Cas trying to shush him.

"Dean, let go. Please." Cas mumbled softly. "Just let go. It's okay." Cas whispered. "I love you, Dean."

Dean hiccuped on his rough cries, his whole body shaking. "I-I c-can't let g-go!" Dean coughed, shaking his head.

"Please, baby. You need to let me go." Cas ran a hand through Dean's hair. "I love you, but you need to let me go."

"That's that same as you saying once I do, I'll never s-see you again." Dean coughed again.

Cas let another tear fall, "Let go!" He said desperate, his voice starting to fade a bit. "If you don't let go, I will be stuck here, roaming this cemetery, not being able to go home! Dean, let go!" Cas's image started to flicker a bit.

Dean hesitated but still let go. He pressed his lips to Cas's for what he thought would be the last time. "When I come to see you here, will you come when I call, or will I just be looking at another grave and just talking to myself like I do with my mom?"

"I always come when you call." Cas smiled, his image now completely visible again.

Dean nodded weakly again, leaning in to press his lips to Cas's once more in a desperate need to be held by his mate.

Cas moved close and kissed Dean deeply, tangling his fingers through his mate's hair.

Dean sat in Cas's lap, pressing his forehead to Cas's while tears slowly fell.

Cas smiled and pulled away, gently putting Dean back in his seat, "I'm sorry, Dean." He frowned a bit.

"What-" Dean started but Cas was suddenly gone. "Cas?" Dean cried out. "Cas!" Dean looked everywhere in the Impala but couldn't find Cas. Dean pressed his face into Cas's coat, glad the scent of his mate was back on it.

Sam walked back to the Impala and got into the driver's seat, followed by Gabriel and Lucifer. He looked over at Dean and saw his brother still hugging the coat just the same as when they had left.

Lucifer pulled his younger brother closer as he started crying again, but silent.

Dean didn't speak a word the whole drive back to the motel, just having conversations with Cas in his head. When Cas had told Dean to go to sleep, Dean didn't argue. He was out like a light, clinging to the coat for security as he slept.

Sam had taken Dean into the motel room and laid him down, his brother still asleep. He sighed and left the room, going to his room.

Dean had a few nightmares throughout the night, bad enough to wake the other two angels and Sam. The other three knew Dean had nightmares about Cas, so they let him sleep through it. It hurt him when Cas didn't come to help him through it. Dean, however, had one nightmare that almost had him practically screaming. That was enough to get Sam to wake him and sleep with him for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Sam woke, showered and started looking for a case.

Dean managed to get himself dressed and up. "I'll be back in a while." Dean told his brother quietly before grabbing the Impala keys and heading to the door.

"Be careful." Sam nods and goes back to looking at his computer.

"No need to tell me twice," Dean said quietly. "And if you find a case, I don't want it to be out of state."

"Alright. I can do that." Sam smiled a bit then turned around when Dean left.

"Thanks." Dean mumbled and walked out to his car, getting in, and driving to the cemetery in silence.

Sam sighed and began looking for a case in the state.

Dean soon got to the cemetery, some flowers in his hand for his mother's grave and a few flowers for Cas's grave as well.

Cas appeared next to Dean as he heard his mate call his name then smiled slightly.

"I know it's cheesy, shut up." Dean said quietly, the pout evident in his voice, as he put the flowers against the headstone.

Cas smiled and rolled his eyes, "I did not say anything."

Dean looked over at Cas, leaning against him. "You were probably thinking it's cheesy." Dean murmured.

"No. I think it is very nice and sweet." Cas smiled more.

Dean looked up. "Really?" Dean murmured quietly, resting his head on Cas's shoulder in comfort.

"Yes." Cas nodded. "Same with your mother. She thinks of you highly and thinks it's sweet."

"Is...Is she here, or...?" Dean knew the answer was probably no. She was burned to a crisp. Why would she be here? That was a stupid question to ask...

"Not here, but in Heaven." Cas sighed, looking down at his grave.

Dean nodded slowly. Mom's Heaven was probably Dean's first birthday or his first Christmas. Both were memorable to her.

Cas smiled a bit.

"Sam is looking for a case for me, him, and probably Lucifer and Gabriel if they're up to it," Dean said. "I told him that I wanted it in state and not too far from the cemetery."

"Why's that?" Cas tilted his head.

"'cause I didn't want to be too far from you," Dean said softly. "I mean, if I get hurt or...y'know...get killed, I'll still be close by..."

"Stop it! Just stop it! I swear to my Father that if you do not fight like you used to, just to get yourself hurt or killed, I will have you brought back to life faster than you can blink, Dean!" Cas growled.

Dean winced at Cas yelling at him again, the half-angel pulling his knees to his chest tightly. "I'll still fight like I used to, Cas," Dean said quietly, keeping his eyes down. "I'm just saying if I get worn out or slip a tiny mistake, anything could happen."

Cas settled down and sighed, "Right."

"Sorry I said anything..." Dean said weakly.

Cas sighed and sat next to Dean, looking at his mate, "You do know that when I say that everything will be okay, I mean it...Right?"

"Sorry..." Dean repeated, more quietly this time. When Cas leaves is when Dean knows it's time to go back to the motel. Now isn't the time yet. "I don't mean to upset you. I really don't."

"I know, Dean, and I do not mean to snap at you. I told you that I have outbursts." Cas frowned slightly, still smiling though.

"We can change that so we _don't_ sound like an old married couple." Dean said, trying to lighten the mood.

Cas sighed, narrowing his eyes, "What have I told you? I don't want to change anything. Things are going to stay they are."

"I don't like things like this," Dean whimpered. "It's not fair." Dean screwed his eyes shut, flinching when he felt rain fall. Dean let his small, brown wings come out to cover them both up with his wings above them.

"Nothing is fair, Dean. I died and you have to live with that. You all do. There is no bringing me back. If Lucifer tries to bring me back, he will die. I do not want my brother to die, just as I said before." Cas turned towards Dean.

"I hate this," Dean said, hugging his knees. "Life is so damn frustrating sometimes."

Cas nodded a bit, "I agree."

After a while, Cas said he had to go back home again, Dean taking that as "home" being "Heaven". Dean accepted that and left the cemetery once Cas did, Dean flapping out his wet wings once he got to the Impala.

Sam called Dean and sighed, "I found a case. Looks like demons. You up for it?"

"Where is it at?" Dean asked once he answered and turned the heat on on the car as he drove.

"Lawrence...again." Sam said quietly.

"Alright," Dean mumbled, rubbing his face. "Is the motel at least warmer than my car, 'cause I just got out of the rain from the cemetery..." Dean grumbled.

"Yeah. I kept it warm, cuz I knew it was cold outside." Sam nodded.

Dean rolled his eyes. "I'll be back at the motel soon." Dean muttered.

Sam's mouth curved into a smile as he hung up.

Soon, Dean was back at the motel again, walking inside.

Sam looked up and turned the computer towards Dean, "See?"

Dean looked at the computer for a momet before he nodded. "Yeah," he murmured. "It's demons."

"Then I suggest we pack up and go." Sam stood then stumbled a bit and walked to his room.

Dean nodded and stood. "I'll be right back." Dean said and too Cas's coat to Gabriel. "Watch this until I get back." Dean said.

Lucifer looked at Gabriel then at Dean.

Sam packed his weapons and put the bag over his shoulder.

Dean didn't wait for an answer from either angels. He just gave the coat to Gabriel and left the room, grabbing his own bag.

Sam put his bag in the car and got into the passenger seat.

Dean got into the drivers side. "So, where is it at?" he asked.

"Some warehouse." Sam sighed as Dean drove off.

"Of course it is." Dean muttered, continuing to drive with the directions that Sam was giving him.

A few minutes later they arrived and got out of the car. Sam went to the back and grabbed his shotgun, filling it with rock salt bullets.

Dean did the same with his own pistol, cocking it back once he had it loaded. "Ready?" he asked, looking over at Sam.

Sam sighed then nodded, closing the trunk, "Yeah." He made sure his knife was at his side before heading up to the building.

They weren't even in there for more than five minutes before they were jumped by demons.

A couple demons grabbed Sam, knocking his weapons away while another grabbed Dean, also knocking the weapons away.

"Hey there, Dean!" The demon grinned as he told a couple more demons to grabbed and hold the half-angel.

Dean fought to get away from the much more powerful demons, trying to use his Grace to destroy them. He figured out that the room had angel sigils on them and that he was powerless. Dean grew visibly ridged when he saw an angel blade. "Get away from me!" Dean yelled, fighting in the demons tightening hold. "I said get away!" Dean looked at Sam, obvious fear in his green eyes.

"Stop it!" Sam jerked and tried to fight off the demons holding him back. "Dean!"

The demon sighed, shaking his head, "Your brother really needs to shut up." He turned around and kicked Sam in the stomach. "Shut it." The demon grinned when he saw Sam cough and almost double over. He turned back to Dean and flipped the blade in his hand, "This is an interesting weapon."

Dean swallowed hard, struggling in the iron grip. "Leave my brother alone." Dean hissed, tensing when he felt the sharp blade move down his chest. Dean heard a scared whimper come from Sam, Dean not daring to cast a look at his little brother.

"I heard what happened to your mate. Well, saw was more of the word. Got his Grace taken away." The demon sighed then pulled a chain from his neck, connected to a glowing vile. " Tadah." He smirked, dangling it before putting it back. The demon made a small cut across Dean's collarbone, watching him hiss in pain.

Sam felt tears stream down his face as he struggled to get free.

Dean made a small sound of pain, forcing back tears. He wouldn't seem weak at all. No. Wouldn't allow it. He had to be strong for Sam. He had to.

Sam whimpered, wanting Lucifer and Gabriel to come help, but the angel sigils made that impossible. "Please, stop!" He whined then coughed as he was kicked in the stomach again, this time was harder. Sam coughed and spit the blood from his mouth.

"Your brother _really_ needs to learn to shut up, Dean." The demon sighed, kneeling down in front of Sam.

Sam whimpered, looking at the demon. His scared eyes looked at Dean for a moment before looking back at the demon in front of him.

"Leave him alone, dammit!" Dean growled, pulling and jerking against the unbreakable hold. "I said leave him _alone_! Just leave him out of this, you bastards!" Sam were getting hurt and Dean was not liking that at all.

Sam grunted as his head was jerked back.

"Well, Sammy here is definitely the better looking one." The demon smirked then let Sam go and walked back over to Dean. "When I kill you, I'm going to kill your baby brother. I just want him to see how _weak_ his big brother is." He trailed the blade down Dean's chest.

"You better not lay a damn finger on him." Dean growled. He tried not to move so much because he didn't want to get hurt even more. "You remember Lucifer, right? The Morningstar? The Devil? Well, he's back. Kinda has a thing for my brother, too," Dean said. "Anyways, if it's not me kicking your ass, it'll sure as he'll be him, because Luci is one God damn protective bastard over Sam. Not as much as me, but you get the point. Now, unless you wanna deal with a pissed off Devil, I suggest leaving my brother alone."

"Let him come! He's weak! Not as powerful as he was. He can try to kick my ass, but I would most likely kill him." The demon said then smirked when he heard a whine come from Sam. "I don't think Sammy likes the sound of that." He sighed and forced the blade into Dean's leg, hearing him scream. "Feels good, doesn't it?" The demon laughed.

Dean cried out in agony, struggling and trying to get the pain to go away, even after the now bloody blade was ripped out of his leg. Dean kept his eyes screwed shut, trying to fight away the horrendous pain, trying to go to his happy place. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh because he felt like he deserved this. Maybe he was going crazy again. Maybe not. What did it matter? He was going to die anyways.

Sam screamed and fought harder to get free, actually knocking a demon off. He got up, only to fall again because of the pain in his gut. Sam coughed and groaned, crying for the demons to stop.

The demon raised an eyebrow, "Looks like Sammy doesn't have it in him to fight." He glanced over and sighed, looking back at Dean. "It doesn't look like Lucifer is coming, now does it?"

"He'll be here," Dean scowled, looking at the demon dead in his chilling black eyes. "Trust me. He will. Maybe it'll be after you kill me. Maybe before. Nobody knows."

"Dean, no." Sam whimpered, being lifted by a demon to sit up.

The demon with the blade looked down at Dean, "I'm gonna give you last words. Got any?" He twisted the blade in his hand.

"I hope you burn in Hell, you sorry ass piece of shit." Dean said with a straight face and a dry tone to the demon. With a thought, Dean's amulet was around Sam's neck.

The demon laughed then forced the angel blade into Dean's chest, hearing the angel scream. He shielded his eyes from the bright light then pulled the blade out and let Dean drop to the floor. He looked over at Sam and grinned, taking down the angel sigils.

Sam didn't dare look at Dean and kept his gaze on the demon with the blade.

The demon drew his arm back then stopped and was thrown back, the angel blade sliding across the floor.

The pain was like an explosion that just wouldn't stop hurting. When it did stop hurting, though, everything about him felt dead. The bright blue light shone in his eyes before the light died, Dean just falling to the floor, lifeless.

Sam had tears filling up in his hazel eyes when he saw Lucifer, his entire body shaking. Cas was dead, Dean was dead, why not take him, too!

Lucifer looked at Sam with apologetic eyes before picking up the angel blade and throwing it, hitting the demon in the chest with it, watching electricity flow through him before dropping to the floor. Lucifer looked around and the other demons were gone. He looked down at Sam and frowned, "Sam..."

"D-Dean..." Sam whimpered, moving his eyes to the blood pooling around his brother, tears falling hard now. "D-Dean..." he repeated, as if saying his brother's name would bring him back.

Lucifer knelt down next to Sam and pulled him into his arms.

Sam cried into Lucifer's chest, sobbing hard and shaking roughly. He felt lost already without his brother with him and he wanted him back.

Lucifer pushed Sam's hair back and held him close, rocking back and forth, not bothering to speak or do anything but hold Sam.

Sam hiccuped on his cries, coughing hard. Sam kept crying and repeating that he wanted Dean back.

"I know, Sam. I know." Lucifer muttered quietly. He looked up as a couple demons appeared with angel blades. "Sam, go over to your brother, okay?" Lucifer mumbled against Sam's ear.

Sam whimpered, his tears still falling down his paled face. He hesitated before complying and going over to Dean. "Why did you have to be so stupid, Dean?" Sam rasped weakly, looking back over at Lucifer.

Lucifer stood and narrowed his eyes, looking at the demons and sighed. He glanced over at Sam before looking at the demons again.

One of the demons smirked, leaving just two.

Sam looked at the two demons before back at Lucifer, Sam completely oblivious to the demon behind him. Suddenly, Sam cried out when he felt arms seize him. "L-Lucifer!" Sam cried.

Lucifer growled and walked over to the demons.

The demon holding Sam smirked as one demon walked over and held the blade under Sam's chin, "Ah. Lucifer..."

Lucifer stopped and looked at Sam then the demons.

Sam whimpered, squirming a bit. "L-Luci..." Sam said, his voice cracking. He really thought he was going to die as well. He could tell when Lucifer was really angry and protective. Now would be the time.

"I'm going to kill all of you if you hurt him!" Lucifer yelled.

"Go ahead. Kill that one. He was wanting to kill Sam right off the bat." The blonde headed demon nodded to the one next to Lucifer.

"No, I-" The demon standing close to Lucifer was cut off by a hand through his chest.

Lucifer kept his eyes on the blonde as he twisted his wrist, killing the demon and let the body drop to the floor.

Sam whimpered again. Not so much with what Lucifer did, but feeling the knife press against his throat more. His legs were shaking a bit, scared that they'd give out at any moment.

Lucifer growled and walked forward, stopping short as the blade pierced Sam's skin a bit, "Don't you dare."

The blonde smirked and pushed Sam's hair back from his face, lifting his head, "He's cute. You really like this human, don't you, Luci?" He grinned.

Lucifer swallowed thickly with a slight nod.

Sam whimpered when he felt a warm trail of fresh blood run down his neck, feeling tears running down his face once again. He heard the demon make a soft tsking noise at his tears, practically _hearing_ the grin without actually _seeing_ it. Sam just wanted this to stop. Wanted everything back to normal. Wanted Cas alive. Wanted his brother alive, angel or not.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, clenching his bloody fist.

"You would think after so much time in Hell, Sammy-boy here wouldn't be so fragile." The demon nuzzled Sam's neck a bit, his eyes locked with Lucifer's.

"Leave him alone!" Lucifer growled then forced his fist through the demon in front of Sam.

The blonde smirked and stood still, "Make one move, either one of you, and I can snap Sam's body in half."

Sam kept himself silent and eyes shut, scared as hell. Sure he's seen Lucifer protective before, but never like this. It almost scared him. Sam stiffened when he felt the blade card through his hair, moving his long hair away from him closed hazel eyes that the demon came to love so much.

"Come on, Sammy. Open those pretty hazel eyes." The demon hummed and kept his eyes still locked with Lucifer's.

Sam made a tiny sound of denial. He wouldn't follow orders from a damn demon. He refused to do anything the bastard asked, no matter how kind it sounded.

"Aw, Sam, come on. Don't be so stubborn." The demon caught a glimpse of the blood trailing down Sam's neck and licked up the tall man's neck, clearing away the blood. "Mm...taste good."

Lucifer moved forward then stopped as Sam was jerked back.

"Mm..." Sam whimpered, shaking his head and pulling his neck away from the demons tongue, whining when he had a hand around his throat, though the hand didn't squeeze or anything. It was almost like a warning.

"I told you not to move." The demon growled against Sam's ear.

Lucifer looked at Sam and frowned, wanting to do something but didn't want to in order to keep Sam safe.

Sam swallowed hard, quietly sniffling. He tensed up when he felt the demon's hand by his eyes, wiping his tears away. Sam hated the littlest touches the demon was giving Sam. He hated how the demon wanted him to open his eyes to see those "pretty hazel eyes".

"Open your eyes, Sam. I can bring your brother back. Something that Lucifer cannot do." The demon said softly.

"Sam, don't listen to him. He's lying!" Lucifer looked at Sam.

Always believing Lucifer, Sam denied the demon with a tiny shake of his head. He just wanted to be held by Lucifer's warm embrace.

"And of course you'd believe Lucifer." The demon sighed then cut a thin line down Sam's chest with the blade. "You really shouldn't listen to him, love. It's bad for you."

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at the blonde demon and made a low growl sound in his chest.

Sam jerked a little in pain, whimpering hoarsely, his voice rough from screaming and crying.

"Now...open your eyes." The demon growled quietly.

Lucifer whimpered a bit, watching Sam in pain.

Sam trembled in pain, new blood rolling down his chest. Not wanting anything else bad to happen to him, he opened his eyes a little, only keeping his teary hazel eyes on Lucifer, refusing to look at the demon.

The demon smiled and made a sound of approval, "Good." He used the blade to open Sam's shirt the rest of the way and grinned, "Very good."

Lucifer looked at Sam with apologetic eyes. This was his fault. He shouldn't have left Sam alone.

 _I'm scared..._ Sam said to Lucifer, more tears filling his eyes when he felt his destroyed shirt fall to the floor. He wanted to close his eyes again, even tighter than before. He didn't, though because he didn't know what the demon would do. Hell, he doesn't even know what the demon is going to do now!

The demon made a sound of disapproval, "Lucifer, I think you have something to clean up." He pointed the blade to the cut down Sam's chest.

Lucifer sighed and picked up the shirt, but stopped when the demon laughed.

"Not that way." The demon shook his head.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and shook his head, "No."

Sam squirmed a little when the blade came a little too close the spot between his legs, looking at Lucifer desperately.

The demon raised an eyebrow, "How about now?"

Lucifer hesitated before leaning down and trailing his tongue up Sam's chest, clearing away the blood also healing the cut.

"That's better." The demon then lifted Lucifer's head up with the blade, "It's amazing how one demon can control the Devil and a giant."

 _Can't you kill him?_ Sam asked Lucifer, fear and pain still evident in his eyes.

Lucifer shook his head a bit then looked at the demon.

"You are-" The demon was cut off by being thrown by an invisible force. "Gabriel." He growled and stood, angel blade still in hand.

Lucifer rushed forward and caught Sam before he fell to the floor, pulling him close to his chest.

Sam whined shutting his eyes tightly and clinging to Lucifer tightly. He felt Lucifer slowly lower then to the floor, suddenly feeling Lucifer's warm, bare chest. Lucifer must've taken his shirt off for Sam.

"If there's one thing you should know about these damn Winchesters," the archangel growled, "it's _never_ to fool around with them because they have either an angel, the Devil, or both on their side." In one quick moment before the demon could react, Gabriel had plunged his own angel blade into the demon, killing it instantly.

Lucifer held Sam close, "I'm so sorry." He repeated over and over in a whisper to Sam, his eyes looking up at Gabriel.

Sam cried badly, feeling Lucifer's gentle hand run through his hair, Sam also denying the shirt. He wasn't stable enough to pull away and have Lucifer put a shirt on him. Not yet, at least.

Lucifer kissed Sam's temple and let his lips linger there for a moment and his eyes shut tightly before burying his face into Sam's neck as comfort.

Gabriel looked over at Dean, his heart sinking. Sam was a wreck because of Dean being dead. He could relate. Gabriel went over to Dean and closed the half-angel's eyes, clearing the blood away. He'd wait until either Sam or Lucifer was calmed down before asking what kind of funeral they would have.

After a few minutes, Lucifer finally got Sam to calm down.

Sam ran a hand down his face, wiping away his tears. He stared passed Lucifer with dull lightless eyes.

"Come on, Sam. Let's get your shirt back on, okay?" Lucifer said softly and put Lucifer's shirt over his arms and buttoned it up.

Sam made a small sound like a whimper and nodded slightly.

"Luci?" Gabriel said quietly, still crouched beside Dean. _What kind of funeral?_ he asked his brother, not wanting to ask outloud so he didn't upset Sam again.

"I don't know. Sam, what kind of funeral do you want for your brother?" Lucifer asked cautiously.

Sam's flickered over to Lucifer then at Dean, "Hunter's funeral." He slowly stood and was helped to stay up by Lucifer.

"We can put his ashes right next to Cas." Gabriel murmured softly.

"Do what you want." Sam narrowed his eyes and made his way out to the Impala after easing away from Lucifer.

Lucifer frowned then looked at Gabriel, "You need to let me bring him back." He whimpered, knowing that if he did, he'd die.

"Lucifer, no," Gabriel said quietly. "As much as Sam needs him back, you're not going to die because of it. You couldn't bring Cas back and you can't bring Dean back."

"But Sam _needs_ him!" Lucifer pointed to Sam who was stumbling out to the Impala.

"I know he does, Brother," Gabriel said and stood up, going over to Lucifer. "Not to sound like the biggest douchebag on earth, but if we're able to cope without Cas, he can try to cope without Dean. He can at least try. At Cas's funeral, Cas was with Dean in the car. "I'm sure Dean will be with Sam a lot, too, Luci."

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and sighed, "Fine." He nodded then followed Sam out.

Cas opened his eyes as a shadow cast over him, "He-" His breath caught when he saw Dean.

Gabriel picked up Dean's lifeless body and flew back to the motel, setting the angel on the bed.

Dean couldn't help the tears that built up in his eyes. "I tried so damn hard, Cas," Dean said, his voice cracking and collapsing to his knees. "I failed you, failed Sam, everyone."

Cas moved to the edge of his chair and pulled Dean to him, "I can make you alive again, Dean. I can bring you back to Sam." He said softly.

"I want you to come back, too, Cas," Dean mumbled gripping Cas's shirt. "Besides, they're going to do a Hunter's funeral in a bit, so there won't be anything to go back to."

Cas frowned and sighed, "I don't want to come back, Dean."

"Then...then I'll stay here," Dean murmured. "I'll go down and stay with Sam every night, starting tonight, until he falls asleep." Dean murmured, feeling Cas gently wipe his tears away. Dean unconsciously leaned into the touch, missing it so much.

Cas nodded, "You do that. Yes. It will be good." He smiled.

Sam got back to the motel and went to his room, shutting the door before Lucifer could come in. He wanted to be alone.

Dean pressed his face into Cas's hair. "If the warehouse wasn't filled with damned angel sigils, I'd still be with Sam..." Dean said faintly.

"I know, Dean." Cas frowned then sighed and looked down, "Looks like you're about to turn into ash. Are you sure you want to stay?" He looked at Dean.

Sam stood outside now and sighed, looking at Dean's body wrapped in sheets. They had taken him to a field, so no one would ask questions.

Dean took a deep breath and slowly nodded. "Yes." he finally said.

Gabriel played with the box of matches in his hand. He looked over at Sam, who was wrapped up in one of Dean's hoodies. "Would you like to do it?" the archangel asked, holding out the box to Sam.

Sam took the matches silently then struck the matches on the box and threw the flame onto Dean's body. He stepped back and watched as the flames grew taller.

"Sam-" Lucifer started.

"No." Sam cut him off, still watching the flames.

Dean inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. "Feels weird..." he muttered quietly, laying his head on Cas's shoulder.

"You want to go back inside?" Gabriel asked Sam quietly. "It's alright if you do."

Cas nodded and kissed the top of Dean's head, "Do you know what the worst part is about being up here?"

Sam stood silent, still watching the flames.

Lucifer sighed and disappeared back to the motel.

"What?" Dean asked hesitatingly.

Gabriel sighed and just stood with Sam, not wanting to leave him alone right now.

"You cannot have sex here." Cas smiled and laughed.

Sam didn't say anything until the flames died and there was nothing but ash.

"Why?" Dean complained, pouting, as he looked at Cas childishly.

A small jar appeared in Gabriel's hands. "Here." he murmured, giving it to Sam.

"It is Heaven, Dean. Sex is considered a sin." Cas looked at Dean and rolled his eyes.

Sam took the jar and nodded, "Take me to the cemetery?" His voice was quiet.

Dean whined stubbornly. "I should've been given a list of Do's and Don't's before I came here," Dean grumbled. "What would happen if we were to, say, have sec in our Heaven with each other?" Dean asked. "It's a Heaven we share and we can do what we want in it, right?"

"Sure, Sam." Gabriel said quietly, tapping the empty jar and it was suddenly filled with Dean's ashes.

"That is correct. Why? What is your Heaven?" Cas tilted his head.

Sam knelt down next to Cas' grave then buried Dean's ashes next to it. He hesitated before standing and backing away. He wanted to go back to the motel now."

"It's...it's silly." Dean murmured quietly.

Gabriel made a headstone appear, making all the appropriate fixture to it, even including 2013 as the year he died. Gabriel soon. "You wanna go back now?" Gabriel asked softly.

"Come on, Dean. Tell me." Cas smiled and nudged Dean's side.

Sam nodded then hugged Gabriel tightly for a moment, "Thank you." He said in a soft child-like voice

"Alright, alright," Dean grumbled. "My Heaven need to be just the five of us, you, me, Sam, and your two brothers, spending a Christmas together. No demons, no monsters. Nothing."

Gabriel smiled and returned the hug, bringing them both back to the motel.

Cas smiled more, "That is a very nice Heaven."

Sam sighed and went to his room, shutting Lucifer out once again. He walked over to his bed and laid down with a huff. Sam looked over at the nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out a bottle of liquor that he was saving for him and Dean, but he isn't going to be able to drink it with his brother so why not drink it now?

Lucifer looked at Gabriel and frowned. He wanted to be with Sam, but Sam wanted to be alone.

"What's your Heaven?" Dean asked with a tip of his head.

Gabriel sighed and rubbed his face. "C'mon. Let's go lay down, yeah?" he coaxed his older brother. "Maybe Dean will come down and lay with Sam."

"You and me just laying around do nothing but lazy sex all morning." Cas rolled his eyes. "It's dumb. "My other Heaven is just stupid." Cas sighed."

Lucifer nodded and followed Gabriel into another room and laid down.

Sam opened the bottle and began drinking.

"Your first Heaven sounds nice," Dean smiled, softly kissing Cas. "What's your other one? I wanna know."

"It's stupid. You don't wanna know." Cas shook his head.

"Please?" Dean frowned, looking at his mate.

Cas sighed and gave in, "Well, I have all of my family back; Balthazar, Anna, and Gabriel. Lucifer as well, I guess. He makes Sam happy. Anyway...We are human and we have nothing to fight. We have "normal" lives, I believe that's what you would call it." Cas nodded then hid his face with his hands, "I told you it was stupid."

Dean smiled softly. "It's not stupid, Cas." Dean hummed lightly, kissing his mate's hair.

"Yes, it is. It's irrational." Cas frowned and sighed.

"I like it." Dean murmured soothingly, nuzzling his hair.

"But you're no longer an angel..." Cas muttered.

"So?" Dean murmured, looking over at Cas, looking into bright blue eyes.

"Nevermind." Cas sighed and sat up. He looked down then frowned, "Your brother is heavily drunk."

"Of course he is," Dean said quietly, rubbing his face. "And he won't let Lucifer in the room. That's typical." Dean knew he needed to go down to Sam, but he didn't want to leave Cas without saying anything.

"Go." Cas nodded. "Go to your brother." He smiled softly.

Dean nodded and was gone, appearing in Sam's room, his image flickering a bit before he because completely visible. "Sammy..." Dean said quietly.

Sam looked up from sitting in a chair, "Dean..." His words were heavily slurred.

"God, Sam," Dean said quietly, carefully walking forward to sit on the bed next to Sam, who was in a chair. "You know you don't do well with alcohol." he sighed.

"You...You don't do alcohol...well." Sam retorted, narrowing his eyes.

"I did better than you." Dean said softly, trying to get the bottle away from Sam's hold. "C'mon. Let go of it, Sammy. It's alright."

"No!" Sam jerked it back and growled. "You're dead! Nothing is alright!" He whimpered.

Dean didn't even flinch at Sam yelling. Dean only leaned forward a bit, his elbows resting on his knees. "I don't have to be dead if you don't want me to be. I already told Cas that I'd come down here every single night before you went to bed. I promise I won't skip a night. Never."

Sam rolled his eyes, "S'my fault! I should have been better!"

"Sammy, listen," Dean said. "It is not your fault I'm dead. Alright? It's not your fault and it never _will be_ your fault. You did the best that you could."

Sam sighed, "Shut up." He whined. "You have no _idea_ what happened to me when you died!" Sam drank a bit more, emptying the bottle.

"Actually, Sam, I _do_ know what happened to you when I died. I saw the demon hold you against your will, keeping you away from Lucifer. Sammy, I saw what happened. Whether you want to believe me or not is all up to you."

Sam didn't move away when he felt Dean's hand move his hair from his face, "I thought I was going to die, Dean."

"You weren't going to, though, and I'm glad you didn't." Dean said, gently tucking Sam's hair behind his ears. "Lucifer would go mad without you and you know that, Sam."

"He almost scared the hell out of me. He's protective, I know...But goddamn..." Sam sighed and looked at the bottle, "I need more."

"You don't need more," Dean frowned. "You just downed an entire bottle of whiskey and you're drunk off your ass. You need sleep, Sammy." Dean murmured. "C'mon. I'll lay with you, alright?"

Sam was silent for a moment then nodded and slowly stood, stumbling over to the bed and laying down with a huff.

"I gotcha..." Dean murmured and helped Sam on to the bed, holding him. "Everything's gonna be alright." Dean soothed, feeling wetness on his shirt.

Sam sighed and moved closer to Dean, pulling him close, "Don't...leave." His words slurred as he quickly fell asleep.

Dean frowned. He couldn't stay forever. If Sam didn't let go, he couldn't leave. He wasn't we to go back up to Heaven. Dean would wait until it was in the middle of the night or something and then he'd leave. He told Sam that he'd come every night. He made no promise about never leaving.

Sam eventually turned over in the middle of the night and away from Dean.

"I'll be back tomorrow night, Sammy." Dean whispered and covered his heavily sleeping, and snoring, brother up with the blankets. He turned the lamp off and unlocked the bedroom door. Dean took one last glance at Sam before he was gone again, back with Cas.

Cas looked at Dean and frowned, pulling his mate into his arms.

Dean buried his face into Cas's chest, his eyes shut tightly. "I just wish I could stay with him and never leave," Dean said quietly. "If I did that, though, I'd never be able to come back here because neither Sam nor I would be able to let go."

"I know, Dean." Cas sighed, rubbing Dean's back soothingly.

Dean sighed weakly. "I just...I dunno. I feel so bad for leaving Sam," Dean frowned against Cas's chest. "After all the shit we've been through, I just feel terrible."

"One time or another, you were going to have to leave him, Dean." Cas frowned.

"I know, but this is different," Dean mumbled. "This time it's permanent."

"Exactly what I meant. It'll be alright. He'll pull through." Cas reassured his mate.

"Let's hope so..." Dean muttered quietly.

Cas smiled a bit, "Come on." He pulled Dean's arm a bit.

"What?" Dean asked, looking up at him a bit, lifting his emerald eyes just enough so he could see Cas's bright blue eyes.

Cas smiled a bit and pulled Dean into a house, "Remember my first Heaven?"

"Yeah..." Dean murmured quietly, looking at Cas.

"Well? We are in that Heaven." Cas smiled a bit shyly.

Dean nodded a little, leaning against the way. He saw a little bit of the sun peaking out through the windows. He wasn't sure what he should do. This was Cas's Heaven after all. He'd let Cas lead.

"Have you forgotten how to?" Cas raised an eyebrow. "You're the dominant one after all." He smirked a bit.

Dean looked up again. "I like you being dominant, though." Dean said quietly.

Cas sighed, "Looks like no sex then. Well, there's plenty of other things to do." He pulled Dean from the house to outside.

Dean pulled Cas back into the house and shut the door. He pinned Cas to the wall and kissed his roughly and deeply, pressing his knee between Cas's legs. He felt himself getting hard when he felt Cas desperately rut against his thigh.

"Changed your mind?" Cas smirked and panted.

"Uh-huh..." Dean muttered, biting and sucking at Cas's neck, pressing his knee up a little harder against Cas's crotch.

Cas moaned and tilted his head to give Dean more room, bucking his hips into his mate's knee.

Dean panted and pulled Cas's shirt off, getting his own shirt off as well. Just to be a fucking tease, Dean started to move his knee against Cas's hardening crotch, hearing Cas whine.

"Dean..." Cas whined and panted, gripping his mate's hair. "You are teasing." He groaned.

Dean chuckled and nipped at Cas's jawline. "That I am." he hummed, putting a bit more pressure on him, suddenly moaning when he felt Cas palm him through his jeans.

Cas smirked and kissed his mate, "You're not the only one that can tease, Dean." He took his hand away then slowly lifted Dean's shirt.

Dean groaned and pressed his knee against Cas's crotch even more, panting, as he let Cas take his shirt off. Dean kissed Cas roughly, tangling his fingers into his mates hair.

Cas moaned and kissed Dean back, pulling him closer.

Dean moaned roughly, feeling Cas buck against his thigh again, Dean quickly fumbling with Cas's belt.

Cas panted and kissed his mate deeper.

Dean groaned into Cas's mouth, shoving his tongue into his mate's mouth, shoving Cas's jeans down.

Cas moaned a bit loud and bucked his hips against Dean's.

Dean panted, feeling Cas tug at his belt. "Fuck..." Dean groaned, rubbing his knee against Cas's crotch again.

Cas removed Dean's belt and pushed his pants down.

"Bed." Dean panted, kicking his jeans off his ankles before he felt Cas beginning to drag him to the bed.

Cas felt the mattress at his knees and felt Dean push him. He landed on his back with a grunt and looked up at Dean with darkened eyes; the blue barely visible from the black surrounding it.

Dean pulled at Cas's boxers, pulling his own down. He moaned deeply when their dicks rubbed against each other, Dean panting roughly with a gaping mouth.

Cas bucked his hips and moaned hard at the friction, "Fuck..."

"Dammit, Cas..." Dean panted bucking and grinding roughly against Cas.

Cas panted and moaned, biting Dean's jaw.

"Fucking shit." Dean panted and groaned, snapping his hips forward hard with a throaty groan.

"F-Fuck..." Cas moaned and scratched his nails across Dean's back.

Dean arched his back hard, his hips pressing hard into Cas's. Dean felt his legs starting to shake and knowing he was very close to his release, knowing Cas was, too.

"Fuck me..." Cas groaned, digging his nails into his mate's shoulders.

Dean panted roughly, looking down at Cas. "N-Not gonna last long," he said. "Neither of us will."

Cas growled in annoyance and bucked his hips again, harder this time.

"Shit, Cas!" Dean gasped, his legs trembling even more.

Cas moaned and panted hard. He rutted against Dean until he came with a loud shout of his mate's name.

Dean buried his face into Cas's neck, desperately rubbing against Cas until he he came as well, panting harshly. "Next time," he breathed heavily, "there will be sex. I promise."

"Hopefully there will be a next time." Cas panted and kissed Dean on the place between his shoulder and neck softly.

"There will." Dean murmured, suddenly worn out and tired. Dean grabbed some tissue from the nightstand, cleaning them up.

"You do know there is a war going on in Heaven, right?" Cas muttered, knowing Dean didn't know, but still asked.

"Oh..." Dean mumbled, throwing the tissue into the garbage. He rolled back over to face Cas, laying his head on his mate's shoulder.

Cas frowned and took a deep breath, "I am to fight..." He faced the ceiling, pulling his mate close.

Dean frowned deeply, nuzzling into Cas's chest. "I can help," he said. "Or will you make me stay back here or with Sam because the other angels might attack me because I'm an ex-Hell angel?"

"You are not going to fight. You will stay in your Heaven or with Sam. I can't let...I can't watch you die again." Cas shook his head.

Dean nodded slowly. "What happens do someone if they die in Heaven? Where do they go?" Dean asked. "Purgatory?"

"No. They disappear forever. They never come back and there is no way to bring them back." Cas sighed.

Dean tensed, worriedly looking up at Cas. "You better not die, Cas." Dean said.

Cas didn't answer and just laid silently, staring at the ceiling.

"Cas," Dean said, propping himself up on his elbows, "try and promise me you won't die."

Cas looked at Dean with sad eyes then looked back at the ceiling.

 _"Cas."_ Dean said desperately, lightly pushing on his chest, his eyes begging.

Cas sighed and shifted a bit, him fully clothed now. His eyes were dull now, thinking about what he already had to fight.

Dean felt tears in his eyes, being fully dressed as well. Dean rolled over on to his other side, his back facing Cas.

Cas looked over at Dean and frowned. He looked down and rolled over, back facing Dean.

Dean felt tears fall down his face. He rolled over, hoping to face Cas, but actually face his back. Dean pressed his forehead between Cas's shoulder blades, where his wings used to be.

Cas turned over and pulled Dean to him, not saying a word.

Dean kept his head down, his forehead pressed to Cas's chest now. "Why can't you just say you'll try not to get killed?" Dean whined. "It isn't that hard..."

"Because I don't...know." Cas frowned, pressing his face into Dean's hair.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Dean frowned.

"I don't know if I will live." Cas sighed.

Dean swallowed hard. "Don't say that," Dean said quietly. "Don't even go out to fight if you say that!"

"If I do not fight, my brothers and sisters will die." Cas narrowed his eyes.

"But...you're not an angel anymore, Cas..." Dean whimpered, clutching on to Cas tightly.

Cas nodded and sighed when he heard a knock on the door, "Dean, I need to get up."

Dean frowned and looked at Cas. "Fine." he said quietly, letting Cas go and sitting up. He followed Cas to the bedroom door before stopping, leaning against the door frame, and watching Cas go to the main door.

Cas opened the door then nodded when he saw who it was. He then closed the door and made his way back over to Dean, "I have to go." He frowned.

"Where?" Dean frowned with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You know where." Cas sighed, snapping his fingers and getting into his war uniform.

Dean frowned hard, looking at him. "Just don't get killed, Cas..." Dean whined.

Cas moved closer to Dean and kissed his mate softly before pulling away and resting his forehead against the other's, "I can't promise anything, Dean." Cas rested his hands on Dean's waist, pulling him close.

Dean frowned, closing his eyes tight. "When will you be back?" he asked quietly.

"I do not know. Hopefully soon." Cas murmured.

"Just be careful and don't do anything stupid, Cas..." Dean whispered, nuzzling his mate's neck.

Castiel nodded, "I can promise that." He smiled.

"I'll be here." Dean said quietly.

Cas sighed and kissed Dean on the cheek before leaving.

Dean leaned against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor, hands in his hair.


End file.
